A runner, a captain and a football player walk into a bar........

Wow....how things can change in a day.  Lol.  I've always said that when it comes to men in my life, it is usually feast or famine.  There is either absolutely no one around, or I have so many that I can't keep track of them all.  And right now I am definitely overflowing with a bountiful harvest.  :-)
RunnerGuy is keeping in touch with daily calls/texts.  He is so sweet, so thoughtful.  His one strike, he definitely does not want to have any more kids.  I'm not sure if that's something I want to do, but I can't honestly say that I'm sure I don't.  Hmmmm.....well, no reason to think about that now.  I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
Guess who came back.....yes, that's right kids.....the guy I was really into that reminded me of my first love.  I get an email last night apologizing for his disappearing act asking for me to call him so he can explain.  If I've said it once, I've said it a million times.  THEY ALWAYS WANT TO COME BACK.  Lol.  I didn't email him back yesterday.  I did send him a text today and told him that I would think about it.  I can't let him back in my good graces that easily.  He needs to stew for a while.  I'll call  him next week when I get back from my trip.  Oh yeh, he needs a nickname.  I guess he could be Capt. Fat Jr.  But it doesn't quite roll off the tongue.  Hmmmmm.....maybe CFJ?  Yep, that's what it will be for now. 
Now for the big one.  The one I know I should run away from...and yet I can't!  I met this guy on POF and I swear he is my absolute perfect dream guy.  Huge, big, dramatic fireworks from just one phone conversation.  He has been texting me today and I haven't been able to concentrate on anything else.  He is tall 6'2", has a professional job and is also a high school football coach.  He himself also played football and has that typical football body and demeanor that I love.  Baby face, boyish charm and a frat boy attitude.  I am in heaven!  This boy will get me into trouble, and I know it.  But I am hooked.  I must know more.  This is it.  This is the feeling that I long for.  But every time I have had this feeling in the past, I get clobbered.  What's a girl to do?  Well, for now, this girl is going to see the Coach.  I'm not going to forget about RunnerGuy or CFJ, especially RunnerGuy.  But the Coach has def peaked my interest (as well as some other things....lol) and I've got to at least see how it plays out.  Stay tuned kiddos!!!!

RunnerGirl meets RunnerGuy!

I haven't had time to blog since Monday, but there have been recent developments that I need to share.  Lol.  I had a date with RunnerGuy.  We met online and have been corresponding for over a month.  We just hadn't been able to work it out to meet up, until now.  He is a tech guy for the USPS and works midnights.  He also has shared custody of his twin 8 yr old daughters.  So it has been hard to find time to meet, but it has given us a chance to get to know each other, which has been nice.  Because, as most of my close friends know, I tend to get too thick too quick.  I guess since I don't get involved very often, when I do finally choose to go down that road, I want it to happen immediately.  But I have done that enough times that I now know it is a recipe for disaster.  Just because something burns red hot in the beginning doesn't mean there is anything to build a lasting relationship on. 
So we met at the park on Monday and took my pup Joey for a walk.  We walked for almost 2 hours, poor Joey was pooped...hahaha.  I was ready to go home and shower, but he asked if I wanted to go have dinner.  Absolutely!  I tried to contain my excitement, but it was just so nice to be with a normal (and tall - he's 6'1"....finally, someone taller than me!) guy.  We both went home to freshen up and he picked me up and to dinner we went.  The conversation was great, he was a little nervous, which was endearing.  The check came and I offered to pay, but he insisted on taking care of it.  Score!  Guys should know that trick by now.  On a first date the female should always offer to pay, but the man should NEVER let her.  ;-)   I don't really buy into traditional gender roles, but there are a few things that should be done a certain way....and that's one of them.  Now, I'm not saying the guy has to pay all the time.  But on a first date......come on!  My ex let me pay for dinner on our first date.  I justified it in my head because he paid for the movie that we went to first.  That was an Epic Fail on his part.  And yet I still fell in love with him, go figure.  Lol.  Anyway, RunnerGuy and I had a lovely dinner then went back to my apartment and talked and watched a movie.  He hugged me when he left, walked out the door, then came back and hugged me again.  Hahaha.  It was so cute.  I know he wanted to kiss me, but he was nervous.  I guess I should have just grabbed the back of his head and laid a good one on him.  But I was really trying to be a good girl.  He won't be so lucky next time, he's not getting away without a smooch.  :-)  He texted me yesterday to tell me what a good time he had on Monday.  And then called today and asked to see me before I leave to go out of town on Friday.  I def want to see him again before I leave.  I love the beginning, it's so pure and innocent and exciting.  And I'm just going to enjoy it.  I don't care where this might go, I just want to have fun and get to know someone new.  If something comes from it, great.  If not, then that's okay too.  But until then, this is one happy girl hanging with a cool guy. 

It's raining men!!!! Hallelujah! It's raining men!

I got asked out by 3 different men for tonight.  No shit!  Lol.  It started yesterday evening and the invites just kept coming.  I usually just chill on Friday nights and do my own thing, but I just really felt like being social tonight.  So I met up with this guy I met on POF.  We have been texting, chatting for a week and his pics looked good and he was the first to ask....so I said what the hell!  OMG, I wish I would have stayed home and given my dog a bath.....hahahahahaha.  He showed up at my place and we were supposed to go get a drink.  He had beer with him and asked if I just wanted to hang out and watch a movie instead.  (Mental note......NEVER meat someone for the first time in a non-public place.  Because if he is nothing like his profile/pics you have no way out.)  I said okay, even though my head was screaming hell to the mother fucking NO!  But considering the way he was dressed, I figured it was the lesser of 2 evils.  He had on acid washed jean shorts, a much too big "polo" shirt and white socks with black tennis shoes.  Oh yeh, he also had a gold pinky ring and a huge gold chain and cross.  By the way......he is white.....in case you had any doubt.  One more nugget of info, his Kentucky accent was so thick that I could barely understand him.  We took my dog for a walk and then proceeded to my humble abode for said hanging out and movie watching.  I cracked open a bottle of wine, hoping it would help relax me a bit and hopefully help me be a little more open minded.  I really am trying to give every type of guy a chance.  He started out sitting in a chair, but somehow made his way to the couch (where I was) at some point during the movie.  I kept moving toward the end of the couch until I could go no further.  I wanted to be polite, but didn't want to give this guy any indication that I was interested in him romantically.  He obviously didn't get the message I was sending......lol.  I mistakenly put my arm on the back of the couch at some point and he immediately put his on top of it.  I endured 15 minutes of him caressing my arm, I was literally screaming in silence to "get the fuck off of me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  I ushered him out the door as soon as the movie was over.  Ugh.....that was a shitty date. 
The other 2 guys that asked me out are much more my type and we have been corresponding for much longer than this turd.  Hahahahaha.  One of them is Mr. Fitness and the other is Runner Guy (he runs and therefore that's the nickname I gave him - duh).  I'm going to finish this bottle of wine and go to bed and hopefully forget this evening ever happened.  :-)

I want to be my own girl....but your girl too!

So the guy I've been vibing with, the younger fitness guy....I guess he needs a nickname.  We'll call him Mr. Fitness.  At least for now.  We are still plugging along, having great conversations, texting daily.  So now it's time to meet and have an actual date.  And honestly, as much as we are clicking in cyberland, what if it fizzles when we meet?  That happens....all to often.  I mean, I know he's cute, I've seen pictures.  But there is something even more involved in a physical attraction.  I think there is something to be said for body chemistry.  I have totally hit off with someone on the phone, really liked their personality, thought they were hot.....but you get face to face with them and something fails.  It has to be physiological.  So, in my head, I'm thinking that's going to happen with Mr. Fitness.  I don't know, maybe I am setting myself up for the worst case scenario just in case it does flop.  There is a part of me that just wants to keep things where they are.....lol.  I know that's silly.  But where we are now is fun and light and good.  But I guess you have to leave that world in order to see if things can be even more fun on the next level.  Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!  Again, I just want to blink my eyes and have "my guy" standing in front of me.  I dreamt last night that I told my ex that I missed being "his girl."  Totally random especially since I don't remember anything else about the dream.....lol.  When I woke up my first thought was that memory........of being in his apartment after we had been dating for a few weeks and he asked me if I wanted to be "his girl."  I thought it was a little cheesy at the time, but thinking back on it now, it was really sweet and genuine.  Anyway, I guess there is a part of me that misses that.  Being someones girl.  It sounds so hokey, but I really do miss it. 

Robin + the Universe = BFF!

This blog is supposed to chronicle my dating life and I haven't actually posted anything regarding that aspect in a while, so here's an update.  ---------------------------------------------------

That's right, absolutely, positively nothing.  Lol.  The one guy that I was excited about, the one that reminded me of my first love, well he disappeared.  We talked for hours, he asked me out, called me again, texted once and then zilch.  He pulled a Houdini on me.  I can't say that I'm surprised, this shit happens all the time.  But I have to admit that I really wanted to get to know this guy.  It takes a lot to peak my interest and somehow he did.  Oh well, at least he had the decency to disappear before we got involved.  Hahahahaha.
There is another guy that I've been talking to.  He's a tad younger, into fitness, a smartass (which I love) and seems to have his shit together.  We have a good vibe, so I guess I'll just have to wait and see.  I thought I had found a good one last night as I was perusing one of the dating sites.  On this particular site you get a small pic and a short preview of their profile in the search results.  I thought I had actually stumbled upon a catch of epic proportions and was pretty excited as I clicked to view the entire profile.  And much to my surprise, as several full size pics came up, it turned out to be my most recent ex-boyfriend.  No shit!  Seriously, I think I am the butt of some big cosmic joke sometimes.  Then I started thinking, maybe it's not a joke, maybe the universe is trying to tell me something.   It's been a long time and maybe we've both changed enough that it could be better, different, something awesome.  But as soon as that thought came into my head I must have had brain overload because I literally felt like I had short-circuited.  Lol.  I got a raging headache and went to bed.  Maybe for once in my life I won't think about, won't try to analyze it.  I'll just let the universe do it's thing and know that whatever is meant to be will happen in the right time.  Because if I have learned anything over the past few years, it's that you cannot rush things, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.  It will all play out the way it should.  And if you are really honest with yourself and have an open heart & mind, your path will open up in front of you.  :-)

If you're starving and someone throws you a cracker.....it's going to taste like a Ritz!

As I was watching one of my favorite movies last night, Eddie Murphy Raw, something occurred to me. "Hey, I just got some regular old crackers!".  Hahahahahahaha!
I am definitely not a relationship girl.  I mean, I like dating one person exclusively, but I am not and never have been one of those people who are always involved with someone.  My last relationship ended 2 years ago in March and I haven't been on many dates, much less get seriously involved with anyone.  My ex has had several relationships and has even lived with another woman since then.  I'm not condeming him, it's just very different than me.  I loved him and haven't been anywhere near ready to go down that path again.  When I start a monogamous union with a man, it means something to me.  It's a big deal.  Since I was 18, I've only had 4 serious boyfriends.  That's 4 relationships in 20 years.  And one of them is iffy....lol.  I have to count it because I called him my boyfriend and he met my family, etc, but looking back on it now...it seems so insignificant.  What I never realized about the other 3 (the 3 that still make my heart race when I think about them) is that my intent was very different than my male counterpart.  I just assumed that when they told me that they loved me, that it meant the same thing to them as it did to me.  I assumed that when 2 of them wanted to live together, that it meant the same thing to them as it did to me.  And I without a doubt thought that when one of them asked me to marry him, that it definitely meant the same thing to him as it did to me.  None of this proved to be true.  But one thing that was true, about all of these men, is that they proved to be serial daters.  They all seemed to go from relationship, to relationship to relationship.  Always having someone in their life.  When you date a guy like that, the problem is that you will more than likely end up being just another breakup story for him to tell .  I am the complete opposite of that.  4 relationships over 20 years, none of them over a year long (consecutively)....you do the math.  I have been single for much more of my adult life, than I have been involved with anyone.  I've had looooooong stretches of being absolutely alone.  And I don't mean this in a "whoa is me" kind of way, I enjoyed most of that time just doing my own thing.  But the one detriment of being on your own for so long in between relationships is that when you do decide to get involved with someone, its a big fucking deal.  And probably a much bigger deal to you than it is to the person on the other end.  So you take things they say and do to mean something, important somethings.  When in actuality, that's just how they roll.....lol.    And the biggest issue of being a girl who doesn't get involved often?  When you've been alone and single for months and even years on end, all men start looking good......lol.  Well, within reason.  And what you realize is, most of the time much too late, is that you have snatched yourself a regular 'ol cracker when what you really wanted was a Ritz!

Blogging while hormonal......read at your own risk!

WARNING: I have the Monday blahs and I'm feeling a little down and I'm not afraid to share!

Broken.  That is how I feel today.  Completely, utterly, literally....broken.  I really think I am missing the romantic relationship gene.  I don't know how else to explain it.  Yes, I can make an argument that I am single because I am picky and I refuse to settle.  And I am really proud of myself that I never married the wrong person and that I am not one of those women who can't be alone.  But that doesn't make it any easier when that stupid voice in my head keeps telling me that there is something wrong with me, something completely unlovable about me.  I can usually subdue it with some rational thinking, a good run or a bottle of wine.  But it just wouldn't quit this weekend.  Maybe it's hormones.  I don't know.  But I have freakin had it!  I am not perfect by any means, but I have a tremendous amount of love to give.  Genuine love.  I don't get it.  How can it be that I can't find even one person who wants a partner like me?  I don't believe in one true love.  There are lots of people who could be together at the right time and under the right circumstances.  So am I just horribly unlucky that I have never had the right person at the right time and place or is there something inherently wrong with me?
Usually I think, it's just luck.  I've had long term relationships that just didn't work out.  And I swear, their demise has rarely been my fault.  The guy usually starts acting like an ass (I assume because he wants out-God forbid he would actually talk to me about his feelings like a normal human being) and that's why we argue and things go to hell.  Not because I did anything different or changed in any way.  And then when it's all said and done and the relationship is over.....they always want to come back.  Always, without fail.  I have never dated anyone (even casually) that didn't try to come back in some way.  They usually want to get back together, sometimes they just want to be my best friend.  But they always come back!  If I am so fucking awesome that you must be a part of my life, then why did you run in the first place?  Seriously, I don't get it.   I give up!

Boning is for the dogs!

There is this guy that lives in my apartment complex that I went on a date with last year.  A mutual friend set us up and we had lunch.  There was absolutely no spark, no connection, but he seemed like a nice enough guy.  I haven't had any communication with him since that one date until I ran into him a few weeks ago when I moved into my apartment.  I had no clue that he lived here.  I said "Hi" a few times when we would pass each other walking our dogs and he just looked at me like I was crazy.  I finally came face to face with him coming out of the gym one evening.  He acknowledged me and apologized for not recognizing me before.  Yeh, whatever.  But he did comment that I looked different....yep losing 40 lbs will do that!  Lol.  Anyway, I mentioned getting our dogs together to play and he nodded in agreement and we went our separate ways.  I've seen the guy at least a dozen times since then and every time he just gets more and more weird.  He will not even look my direction now, must less speak to me.  What the hell is wrong with people?  I have absolutely NO interest in this guy and have given him no reason to think otherwise.  I have just been friendly, normal friendly.  But he acts like he is trying to avoid me, as not to give me the wrong impression.  Please!  I was just glad that I knew someone else in the complex.  I thought it would be great to have a friend/acquaintance nearby.  Hell, since we both have dogs I figured it would be nice if we could help each other out in an emergency...you know if someone couldn't get home and the dog needs to go out, etc.  Or if I need something heavy carried upstairs....lol.   So, this morning I was walking my dog Joey, and of course he was out doing the same.  I smiled and said "Hi", like I always do (I insist on taking the high road).  He ignored me, like he always does.  But when his dog saw Joey, it started barking and carrying on like crazy. Apparently his dog is as spastic as he is! He gave me the dirtiest look, like it was my freakin' fault.   Of course my little Joey didn't even bark......hahahahahaha.  Take that weirdo!  Seriously.....just because I smile and speak to you doesn't mean I want to bone you!  Get a life!!!!

The reincarnation of Captain Fat!

OMG, I just got off the phone after a 2 hour convo with a guy I met on PlentyOfFish.  We didn't even cover the usual topics....job, siblings, music, movies.  We totally clicked and talked about the most random things.  I haven't been this excited about someone in a really, really long time.  Dare I say it? No, I shouldn't.  But I must!  He reminds me of Conley!  Ok, it's out there.  And no, the bottle of wine I drank while we were talking and the bourbon I'm having now have nothing to do with it.  Geez, it has been a long, long time since I've compared anyone to him.  Do I dare even go there?  Oh yes, I dare!  Captain Fat just may have a rival.....at least until my buzz wears off.  :-)

I'M NOT A COWBAY....or a COWBOY for that matter!

I got a message from a guy on PlentyOfFish.com and all it said was "you sooooo sexy".
Not very original, but I looked at the guys profile anyway.  I have pasted his ABOUT ME section below:

I BEEN LOOKING FOR A WOMAN SO WE CAN GET IT ON.NO MATTER HOW I TRY IM ALL WAYS ALONE I WAS THANKING THAT MAYBE THIS WEB SITE CAN SAVE ME..but i guss they just took my money I NEED TO FINE SOME ONE WHO UNDER STANDS THAT IM NOT A WOMAN!!! AND IM NOT LOOKING FOR A MAN !! NO IM NOT A COWBAY OUT FOR A ONE NIGHT STAND SOOO PLEASE E-MAIL IF YOUR NOT A MAN!!!!!!!!

I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.  Bahahahahahahaha!

I am the biggest loser!

Well first off, I am officially back to the weight I was almost 3 years ago, when I began my last relationship.  Woo hoo!  I have worked so hard to get back here.  I still have 20-25 lbs to lose, but I feel amazing.  So, that makes me a big loser....lol.  I am also a big loser because I didn't go on my date on Monday.  I totally blew it off.  I don't know why.  Actually I do.....I just wasn't feeling it.  By the time Monday rolled around, I wasn't looking forward to it, wasn't excited about it.  And honestly, it had been such a busy weekend I really just wanted a day to myself.  But then by the next day I totally regretted it.  Oh well.  Nothing I can do about it now. 
Anyway, I still haven't had any luck with Eharmony or Match.com, but I get messages everyday from PlentyOfFish.  There are a couple of guys that I am communicating with that appear to be promising.  Right now, today, I would be really excited for a date with any of them.....but who knows, I may change my mind by the time we actually make plans....lol.  I think I am just tired of dating and want someone to just be in my life.  I really don't mind being single, but life is much more fulfilling if you have someone to share it with......and dating is fucking exhausting.  I no longer get the rush I used to from getting to know someone new.   I know I have to kiss some frogs before I can find my prince...blah, blah, blah.  But I would rather just blink my eyes (I Dream of Jeanie style) and have someone in front of me.  And I do mean actually share this time.  I learned so much about myself from my last relationship.  I was so selfish.  Not in the typical way, I mean I was sweet and did the usual romantic stuff....cards, back rubs, presents for no reason, etc.  But I was selfish in that I wouldn't let the guy just be himself.  I wanted him to be something he was not.  And the more I pushed for him to fit into the mold I  had in mind, the more he resisted and rebelled.  So in the end it appeared we had absolutely nothing in common and no solid ground to stand on, which is so unfortunate because there was so much about him that I loved.  Was it enough to build something meaningful from?  If we had just enjoyed each other and spent time building a friendship first would it have turned out differently?  Hell, I don't know.  But I am thankful for the experience, because I grew as a person and will be a better mate for the next person because of it.