As I was watching one of my favorite movies last night, Eddie Murphy Raw, something occurred to me. "Hey, I just got some regular old crackers!". Hahahahahahaha!
I am definitely not a relationship girl. I mean, I like dating one person exclusively, but I am not and never have been one of those people who are always involved with someone. My last relationship ended 2 years ago in March and I haven't been on many dates, much less get seriously involved with anyone. My ex has had several relationships and has even lived with another woman since then. I'm not condeming him, it's just very different than me. I loved him and haven't been anywhere near ready to go down that path again. When I start a monogamous union with a man, it means something to me. It's a big deal. Since I was 18, I've only had 4 serious boyfriends. That's 4 relationships in 20 years. And one of them is iffy....lol. I have to count it because I called him my boyfriend and he met my family, etc, but looking back on it now...it seems so insignificant. What I never realized about the other 3 (the 3 that still make my heart race when I think about them) is that my intent was very different than my male counterpart. I just assumed that when they told me that they loved me, that it meant the same thing to them as it did to me. I assumed that when 2 of them wanted to live together, that it meant the same thing to them as it did to me. And I without a doubt thought that when one of them asked me to marry him, that it definitely meant the same thing to him as it did to me. None of this proved to be true. But one thing that was true, about all of these men, is that they proved to be serial daters. They all seemed to go from relationship, to relationship to relationship. Always having someone in their life. When you date a guy like that, the problem is that you will more than likely end up being just another breakup story for him to tell . I am the complete opposite of that. 4 relationships over 20 years, none of them over a year long (consecutively)....you do the math. I have been single for much more of my adult life, than I have been involved with anyone. I've had looooooong stretches of being absolutely alone. And I don't mean this in a "whoa is me" kind of way, I enjoyed most of that time just doing my own thing. But the one detriment of being on your own for so long in between relationships is that when you do decide to get involved with someone, its a big fucking deal. And probably a much bigger deal to you than it is to the person on the other end. So you take things they say and do to mean something, important somethings. When in actuality, that's just how they roll.....lol. And the biggest issue of being a girl who doesn't get involved often? When you've been alone and single for months and even years on end, all men start looking good......lol. Well, within reason. And what you realize is, most of the time much too late, is that you have snatched yourself a regular 'ol cracker when what you really wanted was a Ritz!
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